Ever feel a little down in the dumps after listening to somebody else complain? Even if it’s not your own problem, just hearing about it can make you feel annoyed and moody.
That’s because we tend to feed off of other people’s negativity, meaning we’re brought right down with them.
According to Trevor Blake, an entrepreneur and author of Three Simple Steps: A Map to Success in Business and Life, listening to others complain has the power to damage your brain in a number of different ways.
In the book, Blake talks about how neuroscientists have measured brain activity when individuals are exposed to various stimuli, including a nice, long chat with a serial complainer.
"The brain works more like a muscle than we thought," Blake said. "So if you're pinned in a corner for too long listening to someone being negative, you're more likely to behave that way as well."
In fact, too much complaining can actually start to dumb you down over time. According to Blake, research shows that just 30 minutes of negativity a day can strip your brain of neurons in the hippocampus.
"That's the part of your brain you need for problem solving," he said. "Basically, it turns your brain to mush."
The main problem with complainers is that they’re typically not looking for a solution; they just want someone to commiserate with them.
By constantly complaining—or hearing others whine—you’re essentially destroying your brain’s ability to solve problems on its own.
You really can’t force a complainer to stop whining, but you can stop them from bringing you down too.
Blake suggests using these tactics to avoid getting sucked into a complainer’s circle:
- Put Distance Between You and Them: "My father was a chain smoker," Blake said. "I tried to change his habit, but it's not easy to do that." Knowing that he would eventually become affected by the secondhand smoke, he decided to step away from his dad whenever he would smoke. Always find a way to put some space between you and a complainer. Try to think of it as a serious health problem—listening to them now may affect your own brain later!
- Help Them Fix the Problem: Complainers really just want you to passively listen to their problems. That’s why you should do the exact opposite. Ask them what they plan on doing to fix the issue. While many complainers will simply walk away angrily, some may actually (finally) try to come up with a solution.
- Mentally Block Them Out: Recognizing that someone is complaining to you is the first step in protecting yourself against their negativity. Whenever you feel a whine session coming on, picture some kind of shield in your mind. It can be an actual shield, or even something like Harry Potter’s invisibility cloak. Just imagine it blocking out all the bad feelings coming your way.
What do you think of this? Tell us in the comments!
