In life, we all have gone through some sort of heartbreak. Whether it's because a beloved animal died or your significant other breaks up with you, heartbreak can create a literal heartache--you can feel it inside your chest, right where your heart is.
In a study published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences in 2011, scientists scanned the brains of those who had just been "intensely rejected." The researchers tried two things.
In the first imaging session, researchers asked participants to look at pictures of their exes. In the second session, participants received "noxious thermal stimulation"--basically, the pain-threshold equivalent of being "stabbed with a red-hot poker in a lab setting."
The study co-author Edward Smith of Columbia University called the results “beautiful” in the LA Times. In the end, the reactions were virtually identical, meaning that, to the brain, heartache is the same as getting stabbed with a red-hot poker.
The brain does not differentiate between physical and emotional pain.
In another study with similar testing, it was discovered that, when looking at pictures of their exes, researchers found an increase in activity in several different brain regions. One system was associated with calculating gains and losses — conjuring thoughts of “What went wrong?” and “What have I lost?” It also lit up the region associated with deep attachment to another individuals and a willingness to take risks, as well as the reward system--the same region that lights up in alcoholics when they see alcohol.
“Romantic love is an addiction,” Helen Fisher, PhD, a biological anthropologist and chief scientific adviser for Match.com, explains to Yahoo Health. “And when you can’t get what you want, it only gets worse.”
Jennifer Jill Harman, PhD, an associate professor of psychology at Colorado State University, who studies intimate relationships, explains why it takes so long to get over a breakup.
“As we become more intimate with a romantic partner, we start to integrate them and the relationship into our social identity,” Harman tells Yahoo Health. “We go from ‘me’ to ‘we,’ and there is considerable research showing how this happens mentally. For example, we confuse adjectives that describe our partners with adjectives that describe ourselves — even when they don’t — the more intimate we are with a person.”
“We grieve the person, but we are also grieving other losses we have experienced at the same time,” she says. “This is when therapy might be particularly useful. It is also important to understand that we usually never totally ‘get over’ the person. They were part of our identity, and we cannot just rip that away. We can accept and move on, which is what the goal should be.”
“Time really does help,” Fisher says. “After a while, the brain begins to heal itself. The farther you are away from the person, the less activity in those regions of the brain associated with attachment and addiction.”
If you're experiencing a breakup now, you're not alone. Fisher explains that January is traditionally considered a big month for separations.
“This is where lines are drawn,” Fisher says. “The holidays really show where your priorities are. You bring your girlfriend to family dinner, or not, and either way it’s a big statement. And at the end of it all, many people think, ‘Oh, wow, that can’t work.’”
For those in the middle of a breakup, don't worry--time heals all wounds, and you can always go see Fifty Shades of Grey in theaters on Valentine's Day for a hefty distraction.
What do you think about this? Let us know what you think in the comments!
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