Last July, Angus Mayer, 86 years old, killed his wife Margaret, 85 years old, by repeatedly beating her head with a bedside lamp. Angus had taking care of Margaret since she was stricken with Alzheimer’s four years ago, the Mirror reports.
Angus made sure that Margaret met her needs for the last four years of her life. Although their children noted social services that their father could really use some help, Angus refused and decided to take care of his wife all by himself.
Angus, who worked as a salesman, went straight to a rail station and laid on the tracks until an incoming train dragged his life to death.
Catherine, one of their daughters, said, “Dad could not bear to see my mom suffering. Her Alzheimer’s progressed rapidly and he was caring for her day and night, washing her, dressing her, taking her to the toilet. And it wore him down.
“He was adamant mom was not going into a home, but he was losing her to dementia. They had such a passion for life, but all the joy had gone. He thought ‘What is the point of life without Margaret? We’d better both go’. I just wish they hadn’t suffered so.”
Angus survived his suicide attempt. His leg was crushed and had to be amputated. When police came in to rescue him, he confessed, “I’ve killed my wife. She has Alzheimer’s. I didn’t want her to suffer any more. I just want to die. Let me die.”
Angus lasted for seven more weeks. Then, he finally died from organ failure and septicemia.
Catherine said, “He was willing himself to die. It haunts me that Dad was being punished for his actions. I wish he’d succeeded in taking his life immediately because he suffered seven weeks of mental and physical torture.”
Angus and Margaret met when they used to work at a laboratory in South Wales when they were younger than 21.
Catherine said, “When Dad first asked her out she said no because she had to play cricket on Saturdays. He was intrigued – but mom played hockey and football too. She loved sport and wouldn’t let anyone tell her she couldn’t do something because she was a woman.”
Angus and Margaret married in 1952. While Angus worked as a salesman, Margaret worked as a tax inspector.
Catherine said, “We had such a fun childhood. Mom had so much energy and was a real outdoors person. Dad loved fishing, gardening, history and archaeology. They’d go to concerts, entertain their many friends and play bridge – Mom even played at international level. Dad used to say every day was a blessing and he wanted to live to 100.
“But Mom, always so capable, started to become less confident about things she’d always done – like cooking. Looking back those were the early signs that she was losing her memories.”
It was in 2012 when their world fell apart as Margaret was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease.
Catherine said, “We accepted it and at first Dad seemed to take it in his stride. He almost seemed empowered by being Mum’s caregiver. But it became obvious he was losing his spark. He was getting thin and exhausted. He was getting up to Mum two or three times in the night.
“He found it hard that his vivacious, brilliant, active wife had become confused and disorientated. That shared history of 64 years was slowly being deleted from her memory.”
Angus and Margaret apparently had discussed their situation and she didn’t want to be taken to a nursing home.
Catherine said, “There’s a sense of guilt, at not being able to prevent it, and frustration that social services could not act on our fears. They needed the consent of a carer who wasn’t functioning or able to accept he needed help. The system needs to change so that children can override that consent.
“Society needs to look at how we deal with dementia. And we all need to build a place in our lives for elderly relatives.”
Angus was still charged with murdering his wife. An inquest was given and Margaret took eight “blunt force” injuries to her head and face. According to the adult services manager of Cardiff Council, nothing seemed to have suggested that Margaret was in danger.
